September 16th, 2009
If Wishes Were Horses
Who knew that at this late in life I’d rekindle my love of horses? I certainly didn’t. Last summer a friend asked me to go riding with him. Not yet divorced and trying to wade through emotional and financial drama I begged off stating that I wasn’t ready to try anything new. He asked again in the fall…I had more excuses. Yes, I’ve ridden a horse. But it was a long time ago. When I was young we lived a few miles from what we called the “Pony Farm.” For a few dollars you could pick a horse and ride the trails for hours. Then when I lived in San Diego I used to ride in Cleveland National forest at a place similar to the Pony Farm. The horses were old, slow, plodding along the trails they were safe. Safe. That’s an important word. Safe didn’t mean much to me when I was young and dumb, but now, at my age, safe is aan important word in my vocabulary.
This summer I finally said yes and spent three days riding in our beautiful Gallatin mountains in Montana.
Horses are big animals. I had forgotten how big until I stood beside the horse I was to ride. Up until the time I was actually with the horses I looked forward to time in the mountains. Looking up at my horse and trying to figure out how i was going to get my 5′ 2″ body up on the saddle I suddenly realized that I didn’t know crap about horses, that this is Big Sky country and I’m no cow girl. This could hurt. I could fall off. Get bucked off. Worse yet…I could cry. My friend, a really nice guy, smiled then offered me his knee as a bench. Up on my horse I must have looked confused. My feet were dangling, the stirrups a mile a way. It took awhile to fix things, but once my friend adjusted everything all the while muttering “should have brought a kids saddle,” I was ready to ride.
As soon as my horse started to move I was over come with doubt. Will I make a fool of myself? How far will we ride? Will I be sore and beg to stop? I’m happy to say we rode for miles and I stayed in the saddle the whole time. We saw deer, elk, fox, all sorts of small animals and a bear. It was wonderful! It was exhilarating. For three days we rode from six am till almost dark then shared drinks at the local watering hole. I was proud of myself. It was just what I needed to boost my self confidence. I returned home a new woman. Why? I don’t really know. It was an empowering three days. It was a romantic three days without intimacy. My friend is just that…my friend. I think he knew that I needed to get away. I think he knew that time with the horses, the mountains, communing with trees and surrounded by wildlife would give me the boost I needed to get on with my life.