September 6th, 2009
Lucky Me
Wow! Talk about lucky. I’ve just hit 999,999th Dell free lap top site for about the 15th time. Could I be any luckier? Maybe I should be buying lottery tickets every day and hitting all the local gambling casinos. Too bad I never learned to play cards. I could be cleaning up at all the nightly poker games around town. I read my monthly horoscope and yep, it says I’m on a winning streak. I do feel lucky. Oh, not enough to take all my money and bet it on games of chance, but I’m feeling lucky in life. Funny how quickly your life can turn around. Six months ago I wouldn’t have bet a plug nickel on my luck. I felt like my life as I knew it had fallen apart…it did. I wanted to run and hide. The term clinically depressed kept popping into my head yet I wasn’t brave enough to seek professional help. What did I do? Absolutely nothing. I waited it out and tried to focus on all the good things still in my life and day by day my thoughts began to change. I know that isn’t the answer for everyone, but it was for me. I’ve always been hard on myself. Understanding of others faults, but too critical of my own short comings made it exceptionally hard when my world took a nose dive. I’ve been thinking a lot about depression and people that are depressed. I don’t view it as a weakness, but more as an illness. And it’s amazing how many of my friends are on antidepressants. Maybe they shared that information with me because they recognized some of my behavior as depression. What kept me from seeking any kind of medical help? Pride. That thing in side me that’s kept me plugging along and hating any signs of weakness that tries to surface. Yes, I’m ok now and no, I’m not on any kind of medication. My method of dealing with my problems worked for me, but I know that’s not the case for everyone. I guess what I’m trying to say is that for some depression is more then of a state of mind. It really is an illness and if you need help get it. I am lucky that it was just a state of mind for me. I’m lucky that my depression just took time to work things out. I’m lucky that my family and friends were there for me. I am just a very lucky person.