Fractured Thoughts

AGE IS JUST A NUMBER AND OTHER RAMBLINGS

I am sixty-one-years old and yes, this is a recent picture of me. I’m told I don’t look my age or act it. I believe people think they are complimenting me, but sometimes I wonder if they are really trying to tell me something different. Do they think I should cut my long straight, waist length hair? Should I give up my jeans and opt for polyester pants and baggy shirts?

And instead of dancing, weight lifting and yoga should I now be concentrating on quilting, AARP updates and Bingo? This may seem like trivial musings to some of you, but right now, especially right now, these questions are important to me. I’ve recently gone through a divorce. And at the risk of sounding cliche I’ve been doing a lot of soul searching. You would think that by now I should know what I want in life and more importantly who, if anyone, do I want in my life. Well, I don’t. Maybe there is something to the claim for adult attention deficit. If it exits I believe I have it! If fairy godmothers were real I’d want mine to show up with a list of things I should be doing right now along with long range goals for the future. Yes, somewhere in me there is a knowing that I do have future goals to accomplish. I just don’t know what they are. I can hear some of you right now thinking I’m confused due to the divorce and my emotional state. That might be somewhat true, but honestly I was like this before the divorce. Confused. And since it take two to tango this state of confusion probably contributed to the divorce. I guess for right now I’ll just plod along doing what I’m doing and wait for inspiration to hit. Or maybe I’ll watch “The Secret” video again and concentrate on the positive things I want in life so that the universe will bless me. But see, now I’m contradicting myself again. How can I concentrate on the positive things I want if I don’t know what they are?